Thursday, April 28, 2016
I’m attempting to make a joke.
Wednesday, April 27, 2016
NO EATING OR DRINKING ANYTHING AFTER MIDNIGHT THE NIGHT BEFORE SURGERY. NO BEVERAGES (INCLUDING WATER) NO FOOD, CANDY, MINTS, GUM, LOLLYPOPS, COOKIES, POTATO CHIPS, ETC.
— AMBULATORY SURGERY INSTRUCTIONS
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
We just got used to it.
— Bookbinding teacher on the non-functionality of contemporary endbands
Monday, April 25, 2016
— Woman on subway joining our game of Contact
Sunday, April 24, 2016
— Austin, Akshay, Aarti, Lily
Saturday, April 23, 2016
That’s why I shouldn’t have seven Etsy shops.
— Grandma’s Ashes, UCB
Friday, April 22, 2016
It’s a growing thing. It’s not like you get to a cliff and you fly or you don’t.
Thursday, April 21, 2016
I see a blue rhino’s eye… ET phone home… Blue…
— Lily falling asleep
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
And he’s looking as optimistic as ever.
— Lily on the blue jay sitting in his nest in the tree outside our bathroom window
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
I’m so panicked that I’m numb.
— Grace on Jabber
Monday, April 18, 2016
Break the pattern, do a thing.
— Chris Gethard, “For Your Reconsideration,” This American Life
Sunday, April 17, 2016
I think sticky traps are really special. We should put em up.
Saturday, April 16, 2016
Friday, April 15, 2016
Something else happened that you don’t even know, I was stepping on my own toe and it hurt.
— Lily after I called her out on saying “ow” when the sound of a bump came from an obviously different place
Thursday, April 14, 2016
One day you’re going to give me a little extra.
— My favorite street book selling guy on 73rd and Broadway
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
— Email from Tumblr
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
I didn’t ask you if you know him, I asked you if you read his book.
— Sid imitating his youngest son as a kid
Monday, April 11, 2016
Princeton is discontinuing its sprint football program.
— Princeton University status shared by Matthew Garvey
Sunday, April 10, 2016
Alright boys, pack it up.
— Lily pretending to be among the bagpipers
Saturday, April 9, 2016
I hired the swimming guy.