Sunday, August 27, 2017
I think you can click the 0 in the year.
— Dillon on homestarrunner.com
Saturday, August 26, 2017
Wanna hear my advice? Never go to bed angry at each other.
— Nice TSA man at DEN who has 12 years of marriage under his belt
Friday, August 25, 2017
Give em’ a nip!
— Molly and Bret repeating my phrase for Tique
Thursday, August 24, 2017
I feel terrible. I feel guilty. I mean where could an ant be and not be crushed by a human.
— Emily after accidentally killing an ant on the top of Turkey Roost
Wednesday, August 23, 2017
You got any kids Folly?
— Lily making small talk with her horse
Tuesday, August 22, 2017
— Ken on his ‘73 eclipse vest to TOPO employee
Monday, August 21, 2017
Welcome to America.
— Young kid in Casper Wyoming on bike with football and no helmet who would also say “zap” with a hand gesture
Sunday, August 20, 2017
What’s the difference between that and reading?
— Lily on The Sims
Saturday, August 19, 2017
The footprints in the butter.
— How you know an elephant was in your refrigerator (from a Grandpa Jack joke notecard)
Friday, August 18, 2017
Nike wait up!
— Lily to Nike
Thursday, August 17, 2017
When people asked Breitbart why he wasn’t more involved in electoral politics, he liked to say that if you could reorient news and entertainment, the rest would follow. ‘‘Politics,’’ he often said, ‘‘is downstream from culture.’’
— Wil S. Hylton, “Down the Breitbart Hole,” The New York Times Magazine
Wednesday, August 16, 2017
They turn their backs on the universe and its ecstasies in order to spin out, endlessly, those ten pointless projectile heads, which are cut away time and again by the sudden snips of a Solingen.
— Jorge Luis Borges, “Toenails”
Tuesday, August 15, 2017
I’m pretending the met is a cruise ship.
— Lily in a text
Monday, August 14, 2017
— Simon & Garfunkel, “The Sound of Silence”
Sunday, August 13, 2017
Maybe I should just go to the airport.
— Lily on something to do
Saturday, August 12, 2017
Friday, August 11, 2017
It's Sirius Black!
— Lily (out of nowhere) pointing to a black dog on street
Thursday, August 10, 2017
I don’t believe in germs… I definitely don’t believe that your heart is in there beating all the time… going boom boom boom boom boom without you thinking about it. I think it’s all made up.
Wednesday, August 9, 2017
Anytime for you.
— credit score at the breakfast sandwich cart
Tuesday, August 8, 2017
Do you want a fidget spinner?
— Courtney Maum