Friday, December 25, 2015
I could work; but why risk ruining my nails.
— nail file matchbook
Thursday, December 24, 2015
39, 40, 41, 42. Forty-two rows over here too! Same as over there!
— Grandpa Paul
Wednesday, December 23, 2015
I don’t know why, but I thought of the house as a carcass, the innards are the meat to be divided up.
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
*BB8 lighter thumbs up*
— Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Monday, December 21, 2015
Sunday, December 20, 2015
What do you tell someone? Do the best you can and we’ll see what happens the next time I see ya…
— grown up Bobby D
Saturday, December 19, 2015
Chinese lobster guy?
— Dave on “It’s a trap!”
Friday, December 18, 2015
I drink to the landlady
Whose husband died
She keeps one room clear
And in that room she draws delicate
Studies of toads
That lick flies from the air
— C. G. Hanzlicek, “A Toast for the New Year,” Living It In
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
And your mother, who is she and who would you like her to be?
— Weird question by potential suitor to woman’s daughter.
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
My tire’s stiff.
— Jay after doing a bad turn in his minivan
Monday, December 14, 2015
“To staff the president and first lady at the holiday photo line is to observe humanity in its most awkward state,” said Bill Burton, a former top press official in Mr. Obama’s White House.
— Julie Hirschfeld Davis, “The White House Holiday Photo Line: A Tradition of Awkwardness,” The New York Times
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Like most people have that amount of money?
— Small boy’s follow up question to “How much money do you and mommy have?”
Saturday, December 12, 2015
And count the coyotes
Coming down the hill
Coyote 1 Coyote 2
— C. G. Hanzlicek, “What I Want Is,” Living It In
Friday, December 11, 2015
Our faces are just like muffin tins because they’re sitting and they’re ready to make shapes.
— Lily between a nap on the couch and sleep in the bed
Thursday, December 10, 2015
Are you happy with it?
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t really as mundane as I felt. After all, having a colonial-style house in Pikesville, Maryland, two wonderful children aged three and five respectively, a beagle hound, and a husband who is a sales executive for the Mayfair Paper Cup Company doesn’t necessarily make a person a statistic.
— Avy Offit, “To Talk About Love”
Monday, December 7, 2015
Look it’s a tourist. Ah! Lucky!
Sunday, December 6, 2015
What is the difference between plot and narrative?
— Student, The Savages