Friday, July 14, 2017
Thank God the girls are adults.
— Woman to another woman on Lex and 43rd
Thursday, July 13, 2017
Wearing his shower cap as a blindfold, Cap'n Jack’s hands were always full like Lady Justice’s.
— Tamara Shopsin, Arbitrary Stupid Goal
Wednesday, July 12, 2017
It’s when I need to get the same free stuff the second time.
— Jay on fake glasses
Tuesday, July 11, 2017
No one ever says you’re making that language up.
— Sid on making a language up to get people out of the whirlpool
Monday, July 10, 2017
You’ve got some funny guy in my area there.
— Maggie to Paul on Karl who sits in her old cube
Sunday, July 9, 2017
All ketchup is is a bottle of stuff with a sticker.
— Lily on ketchup
Saturday, July 8, 2017
I just want to bathe myself in birds.
— Lily on baths
Friday, July 7, 2017
Like I talk to my cats?
— MET security guard after other security guard gives her advice to “do it authoritatively”
Thursday, July 6, 2017
Did you see what we have!?
— Extremely nice manager of Murray’s pointing to Sloppy Blue on special menu. She also remembered my name and stretched the special another two weeks.
Wednesday, July 5, 2017
— Henry on source of great painting he found
Tuesday, July 4, 2017
— Doug to desk, House of Cards
Monday, July 3, 2017
I love birds.
Sunday, July 2, 2017
He delivered me!
— Lily on meeting man who delivered her
Saturday, July 1, 2017
Who doesn’t love hats?
— Baby Driver
Friday, June 30, 2017
— Rincon Argentino in Cold Spring, NY
Thursday, June 29, 2017
I usually just sing happy birthday to myself when I’m stressed.
— Lily on test day
Wednesday, June 28, 2017
Guy in the Porsche keeps gunning it, from 140th, we’re in the same place, unbelievable.
— Man on bike on Riverside Park by Christopher St.
Tuesday, June 27, 2017
If you don’t flush the toilet, the resale value…
Monday, June 26, 2017
For our masters.
— David Rosenthal
Sunday, June 25, 2017
That sentiment echoed Mr. Fenn’s. Growing up, he spent most of his summers in Yellowstone National Park, and he was shot down twice in Vietnam, where he flew 328 combat missions in 348 days.
— Jonah Engel Bromwich, “Colorado Man Is Second to Die in Quest for Buried Treasure,” The New York Times