Jaywalkers of the world unite. You have nothing to lose but your lives.
— Last line of a poem Sid wrote in his mind
We’re old enough to babysit. It always blows my mind.
— Lily on being 24
I’m very healthy. Like broccoli.
— Lily in high-pitched marionette voice waving an ice cream sandwich around like a mouth
Have you ever made fruit kebabs?
— Lily
Until, in God’s good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old.
— Winston Churchill speech read in Dunkirk
You’ve got your printing shirt.
— Garry from Phoenix on my printing shirt
A tea shop.
— Nina Shield
Beach ball.
— Jason Fulford
Grow a pair.
To The Bone
Sometimes we would barter. A trip to St. Barts was paid for with a year’s worth of Burmese hummus and shrimp gumbo.
— Tamara Shopsin, Arbitrary Stupid Goal
That’s ok cuz the shelves won’t sway… He likes to wear shorts that are sweat pants. And he’s also is cool with killing ants… He wants to add bubbly water to his tea. But that sounds stupid if you ask me.
— Lily singing a song before bed
Thank God the girls are adults.
— Woman to another woman on Lex and 43rd
Wearing his shower cap as a blindfold, Cap'n Jack’s hands were always full like Lady Justice’s.
— Tamara Shopsin, Arbitrary Stupid Goal
It’s when I need to get the same free stuff the second time.
— Jay on fake glasses
No one ever says you’re making that language up.
— Sid on making a language up to get people out of the whirlpool
You’ve got some funny guy in my area there.
— Maggie to Paul on Karl who sits in her old cube
All ketchup is is a bottle of stuff with a sticker.
— Lily on ketchup
I just want to bathe myself in birds.
— Lily on baths
Like I talk to my cats?
— MET security guard after other security guard gives her advice to “do it authoritatively”
Did you see what we have!?
— Extremely nice manager of Murray’s pointing to Sloppy Blue on special menu. She also remembered my name and stretched the special another two weeks.